Forgiving yourself

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I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my day, and I’ve hurt a lot of girls in ways that I can never take back. I have asked each one of them for forgiveness, and most of them have forgiven me but it has still continued to haunt me. That I would have caused these people that I cared about so much pain because of selfishness and greed. I couldn’t quit thinking about it, asking myself if I’m doomed to repeat this over and over until I die.

But that’s when I came to a revelation! Here I was, condemning myself over and over, shameful of every deed I’ve committed, every selfish act, and every word spoken harshly, when I stumbled on a verse that changed my way of thinking. This set me on a search for healing, and I will share what I’ve found with you, in the hopes that it can help you like it did me.

Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. (John 3:17 NKJV)

This is great but there’s so much more!

Read Galatians 3 in its entirety, I will use a couple verses.

Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.” He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit. (Galatians 3:13, 14 NIV)

What was that? Paul called the old law a curse? I know this is slow but please keep reading. It will be worth it.

If you tell a child not to touch a stovetop, what will they immediately do? If they were like me they would scream as soon as they touch the hot stove.

Its the curse of the law that makes us want to commit the 613 laws mentioned in the old

There was a study done among baptist preachers and what their sermons were on in the south several years ago. What they found was that among the preachers that preached on infidelity and against divorce actually saw an increase in the number of divorces. My mind was blown when I found this out, and As a man adamant on a well grounded marriage, I wanted to figure out how to fix it.

As long as mankind is told not to do something, we will always struggle to avoid doing it. But let’s see how Christ did it.

Jesus said “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV)

I’ve heard it said that if you are running from sin you will quickly tire, and become worn out and weary. But if you are running toward God you will only be more and more energized and be running from sin at the same time.

Jesus has freed us from what not to do and told us what to do! We are to love and love abundantly!

If I love a girl, will I let any harm befall her? Will I treat her poorly? If I am showing her parent’s love, would I pressure her to be physical with me?

If I love my neighbor, would I steal from them? If I loved my coworkers, would I talk about them behind closed doors or cause them more work because of my laziness? No! Love covers all sin!

Sometimes it’s so difficult to show love. When your grandma has passed away and someone says something crude without any regard for your feelings, it’s tough.

If you’ve always been overweight, no matter what you’ve tried to do to fix it, and it’s a sensitive topic and someone makes a wisecrack about it, it’s tough.

When someone who has ridiculed you for years comes to you for help in their moment of need and you want to tell them to shove it, it’s tough.

But always remember this, at the times when it’s the hardest to show love, it’s the most important to show love. Because that is when it’s noticed. That is what sets us as children of God apart from the rest. That is our light.

So go out, sin no more and love abundantly!

Please comment and tell me of some times when you’ve had a hard time showing love, or when love was shown to you. That lets me know that you’ve taken the time to read.

My Current Frustration

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It’s so aggravating always being the good guy. Watching amazing girls go off and get crushed by dirtbag guys. It’s so frustrating knowing that if I were a dirtbag like these other guys are then I could manipulate girls and get what they have, but because I hold myself higher, because I am going to be there for a woman one day to pick her up whenever she falls, and she’ll be there to pick me up. It sucks watching girls get trampled on by guys, as if they are seeking it out, yet I get passed by as not even an option. I’m the guy every girl wants their friend to date. I’ve been blessed with the ability for foresight and to know that the ends will serve the means, that the longing I feel will one day pass because I trust God and I have faith. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, it’s just frustrating when I don’t see the light getting closer, only further away. I’m not a perfect person, and I’ve hurt several girls in my past, but one day I will make a girl happy, and make her forget every wrong that has ever been done to her.

I know that more than likely she will have baggage from previous relationships, and feel unworthy because of her mistakes but I won’t care because that will be the woman I love! I will be with her thru the nightmares. I will be there, on the outside of the fence until she trusts me. I will happily earn that trust that has been broken by so many other guys in the past. I will be there to show her that she is a child of God and that she is whole and unbroken, no matter her past. That her past doesn’t define her, but who she is as a person defines her. I’ll make her feel like a princess every chance I get, and hold her hand every night. I will wake up beside her every morning with a smile on my face knowing I’m with the most beautiful girl in the world, even with her bed head and without makeup, it only makes me want to grab her up in my arms even more. When we are old and gray she will always be my princess and I’ll always be her prince. I can’t promise that things will always be easy, but I can promise that I’ll focus on God for every decisions I make, I’ll listen to anything she wants to tell me, and in every decision I make I will put her second only to God.

Don’t be confusing!

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A common theme I hear from girls all the time is how frustrated they are when guys don’t make their intentions known. I’ve never seen girls so stressed, anxious, and insecure as when they don’t know where they stand with a guy.

Obviously I can’t speak for all girls, but most have a desire to know what a guys intentions are. So guys, don’t lead them on and commit! You’re either in the boat or out of the boat, if you try and do both then you’re gonna sink it. It’s fine to be slow in making your decisions, but when you make your decision on whether or not to pursue her, stick to it. If you are a wishy washy guy, expect her emotions to be all over the place because you are making it impossible for her to know where she stands with you. Also, if you tell her that you like/love(ESPECIALLY if you said love) her, make sure with everything in you that your actions reflect your words. It’s so easy for us guys to say those words without meaning them, we should always be mindful of the commitment we are making when we tell someone of the opposite sex we love them.

It’s tough for us guys to step out on that limb that first time. It’s hard for us to not tip toe and test the weight of the branch to see if it will hold up. So girls, please make it easy on us to be the committed men God called us to be and give us a chance to work up our courage, and try and encourage us to take that first step. If your guy asks you out that first time, say yes, or let it be known that you’d like to go with him. When he takes that first step it’s time for you to respond with your excitement to hang out. If not, he sees it as rejection or, even worse, if you say yes unenthusiastically that means he feels that he has been put in “The Friend Zone”, which is the worst feeling in the world for guys. Worse than even a rejection, because now we have to be your friend while you date guys that won’t treat you nearly as well as We feel we could.

The Moral of today’s post is to just be open with yourself. Life is too confusing as it is without playing hard to get or leading others on and toying with other’s emotions. God called men to be decisive, and if we aren’t decisive then how can we expect our dates to know what we’re thinking, or even to respect us as men?

Do any of you have any memorable first conversations or first dates with the opposite sex?

Trusting God

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To me, trusting in God is the easiest thing to suggest to someone in need, but by far the most difficult thing to actually do. It’s so difficult to give over the control that you feel like you just recently acquired. How do you do it?

As humans, we are always trying to stay in control. When we are in control, we feel safer, more secure, and generally feel freer to do as we please. Remember when you were little, and you wanted to be able to walk where you wanted to, play where you wanted, and run around the house without a care in the world, but then mom showed up and carried us off. It completely took our control away, and we just wanted to be free.
Now, did our parents do this because they hated us and wanted us to miss out on life? Goodness no, they knew that we were about to get hurt and they wanted the best for us.
Giving God control of my life has been something I’ve struggled with since, well, birth. We hear in church that we should give God the reigns, but why should we? We’ve survived this long, why not? Why should I give up my free will? Isn’t God controlling for wanting to do that?
But the truth to the matter is quite simple. If you were blind, and you knew you were blind, would you not trust the friend that held your hand and walked you to the dessert bar? I would in a heartbeat, because fumbling around toward the dessert bar just means I make a mess and I miss the last piece of four layer delight chocolate pie. Taking this analogy to heart, why not try to get to the dessert bar in the safest, cleanest way? Is it really worth the hit in pride to let someone who cares so much for you that it’s unfathomable lead you?
Our amazing God sees the past, present, and future because He made it. I have to constantly check myself that every decision I make is made from following God and not my own ambitions. As easy as it feels like it is, I still struggle with this, and especially on the big issues, like dating. I wish I fervently prayed and asked God for permission before I went on a date with every girl. Honestly, I wish I could say that about even one of them. Each time I get scared that God might say no, and I won’t even confer with God and just hope for the best, thinking that I can convince God she’s worth dating. I’m such a fool for ever thinking this was even remotely a good way to begin a relationship. I’m going to begin fervently praying and I’m going to stop asking God if I’m ready to date, and start asking if He’s ready for me to start dating. I’m going to live for Him, trusting Him, because I know that he wants the absolute best for me. My greatest achievements are filthy rags compared to what I could do when I’m in God’s will.
Our God has his hand outstretched, ready to lead us to the best that life has to offer, but first we have to quit trying to do things our own way and to start listening and following God. Do I mean reading the bible more? Yes. Do I mean pray more? Yes, but don’t forget to listen. A wise man once told me about a term called “praying through”. It’s when you get on your knees in a quiet place and you pray until God gives you an answer to your prayer. If it takes ten minutes, do it. If it takes an hour, do it. If it takes ten hours, do it. God will answer, but you have to remember to listen. I’ve done this on a couple occasions and it works. As I am writing this I wonder why I don’t do it more. Christian friends are alsocrucial to your walk with God. One thing you’ll notice with time is that you become who your friends are. It’s just true that if you hang around a group of people, you begin to assimilate into their thinking and their actions. So it’s usually wise to have close friends that are who you want to become.
I hope this letter is legible and helpful. To sum up, God wants to help you. He is your lifeguard when you are drifting out to sea. As soon as you quit fighting the losing battle against the tides, He’ll be able to grab onto you and pull you to safety.

What are some other things that you want to rely on God more with?

Tmfs

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Hey, you are reading this and thinking about what a dork I used to be for writing stupid letters, but it’s cool cuz I’m super sexy and awesome now. That is actually probably false.

I wanted to write you so I have a better direction of where I’m headed and so I’m dedicated to you, and to show I’m ready for the “long haul”.

First, I just want to let you know a little about me. I’m not rich, I’m not famous, and I don’t have a great body(but I’m working on it, kinda). I’m not the most attractive guy in the world by any means. I can’t play the guitar, and I can’t sing(but I try really hard). This is a list of what I’m not.

Here’s the list of what I am;

I am devoted to a God that is bigger than anything I could ever hope for. I have been changed by the Most High God and will never be the same. He is teaching me to love you like only a man after God’s own heart can. A love that will love you no matter what, to be by your side every step of the way.

I’ve been hanging out with a lot of babies and kids lately, and I’m ecstatic and excited to have them with you. I really enjoy my sleep… But I’ll enjoy staying up with a crying baby so you’ll get to get a few hours of sleep more. I can’t wait to be beside you when you fall asleep and there when you wake up every morning.

I want you to brag in the nursing home one day that you’ve never had to hold your car door open once with me.

I want to be your partner in every essence of the word. I want us to talk for hours every night about how our days were. To have the intense love and knowledge of each other to just look at each other and you know more from that look than you could from an entire encyclopedia.

I believe this love exists, and it is real. This is a promise that I’m saving my heart and body for you babe. I pray for you every day

You’re a long ways away but these days will pass by quickly knowing you are right around the corner. Genesis 29:20 is the verse that keeps me hopeful that you exist.

So in conclusion, if you are reading this before we realize one another, I love you for all that you are. Keep the faith and fight the good fight. Don’t ever give up on a powerful, true love that outshines the stars, because I refuse to give in or give up.

Yours until Christ calls me away,
Travis Frey

And anyone else reading this, what is one thing you’d like to know about your future spouse? And check out Corey copeland’s page for TMFS letters from other people.

New Directions

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I’d like to start off with an apology about the Glee reference.

I have two things that I’m gonna talk about today, one is New Life Church! I’ve never seen a church that’s not hypocritical before. There are some great churches out there, but I’ve never been so enamored by a church before. It’s so exciting to see God’s will being laid out in this church and similarly in my life. Yesterday across all 6 campuses 514 people were baptized! Even if you take an average of 84 or so at each one, name one church that has that many in a YEAR. I’m not a numbers guy, cuz God can work in the smallest of Churches, but He’s starting something here that I’m so excited to be a part of.

Now the second part of this post is about a personal decision I’ve decided to make public. I’ve made mistakes in my past, but last night at Elevation, a college aged Sunday night service at NLC Conway, someone really got me thinking about how I was going to be once God has shown me who I am to start dating. I am still praying, but someone mentioned that what helped them was to lay down the ground rules of no spooning and no French kissing. My ground rules were always a little further than that and that was when compromising started to happen. I’m not gonna put a woman of God through that kind of torment of being used. For me to treat her like the princess of a Most High God I need to set stricter rules. Because I don’t know who I’m meant to marry, and quite frankly that’s exciting to me, but I want to be ready to approach whomever it may be when God points in her direction.

I’m however not jumping to be in a relationship, because this journey with God is so exciting I just want it to be my God, my cat, and I for awhile. It’s so exhilarating to be the child of God, I hope I never lose this awe of Him.

So what other kind of ground rules worked with your past/current relationships?

Cats and Dogs and Women

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Hey it’s been forever since I’ve posted, and today I’m gonna share a theory I have between cats and dogs and women.

I’ve had a cat now for about four months, and I’ve learned so much about how to be responsible and such(did you know they have to be fed EVERY day?! Me either). But I’ve realized some weird correlations with girls and cats and dogs.

I believe there are dog girls, and cat girls.

You can hit and mistreat a dog and they come back time and again because they feel that they deserve it or that it’s just a part of life.

But at the same time, you can accidentally step on a cats tail and it will plot your murder for days until you have gained your trust back. I accidentally kicked my 3PO the other day and he gave me a look that said, “As soon as you’re asleep, I’m gonna poop on your face.” I was petrified.

So women, don’t be a dog person. You are amazing just the way God made you, and a true man of God will lift you up and make you feel like the princess of God that you are every single day. Please don’t settle for less, because for one, I’m not gonna settle. You have a person that God picked out for you before you were even born! He picked him out for you to love and cherish and for him to love everything about you, and even the things you are embarrassed about. So find the strength to just be patient. God will give everything to you if you just wait.

At the same time, don’t be a cat person. For one, It’s terrifying. The bible says over and over to be slow to anger and to do your best not to take offense. I for one have a permanent place in my mouth where my foot goes, and I’m gonna need someone extra awesome to be able to understand what I’m talking about and not get offended. I completely understand why you are this way though. Men have developed “the game” into a sick equation to know exactly how to manipulate girls if they don’t have a firm foundation with Christ. I knew a guy once that would find out on the first date how her relationship with her dad was, and if it was poor he knew she was probably easy and would keep dating her. So please keep your guard up against snakes, but with constant prayer ask for discernment over what is malicious and what is just an accident.

I think I’m gonna post about guys next to keep it fair. Any comments, questions, hopes, dreams, fears, aspirations or thoughts please comment and tell me what you think

Video Post

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Hey guys, I just wanted to spend today showing a video that Taylor and I made a few months ago.  we have more in the works, and we’re gonna try and push one out a week and I’ll start posting them On here. I’m trying to learn the trick to imbedding videos into WordPress, but for now I’m just going to link it.

Playing with yourself(not what you think)

By the way, The Fish tattoo won, so I’m looking at prices for it to be done fairly cheap.

 

anyone close to the beebe/conway/searcy area of Arkansas want to be involved in a movie?  I have a couple ideas for some fun movies

 

Salesmen for Christ?!

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Hey guys, i decided to be Serious in today’s post.

Being a salesman has helped me understand my walk with Christ and witnessing so much over the years. Check out the list of similarities I’ve found.

1. Get over rejection. Most Christians and new salesmen are so terrified of being told no that they never even step out on the limb to tell someone about what you have. People NEED to hear the word of Christ. They aren’t rejecting you, they are rejecting God. It’s your JOB as a Christian to give them the message just like its my job to tell the customer about what we offer. If you are depending on sales, if you don’t offer it then you can’t sell it. These lost souls depend on us. Show Christ’s love like someone once showed it to you.

2. Believe in and know your product. Who wants to buy something that even the salesman knows is crock?! Christ is real and He’s saved my life so believe and stay in the word so that when you are called that you are equipped to be God’s messenger.

3. if you are going to sell, make sure you know what you are selling. Nothing is worse than halfway thru the sale we are just reading the description off the box. People want to know that you belong there. Christ died for you! He came back to life for You, so celebrate! But make sure you are on God’s team. There is a mental and physical transformation that occurs when a person gives his life over to God. The very moment when you ask God to forgive you of the hate and bitterness and everything that is not of God, and to commit to turning toward Christ, the One who died so we may have salvation. One word of advice that has always stuck with me is this; unless you know that you know that you know that you’re saved, you probably aren’t. If this step is for you, find a bible and look up Romans 3:23 and Romans chapter 6.

4. Be okay with not knowing all the answers
So many people are afraid to step up because they aren’t good enough or that they aren’t qualified. Look at the disciples, and tell me you are less qualified than illiterate fishers. If you study the bible, you will notice that in nearly every story you will find the most unqualified person is usually the one God uses to show his confidence in us. God will give you the answers to any questions that pop up, or He will give you the wisdom to say, “you know, I know I’ll have to get back to you on that.” Some of my best customers are the ones that ask me questions I can’t answer. People love someone who is willing to admit that they aren’t perfect and that they don’t know all the answers. But in either sales or your walk with Christ, you need to know how to get your answers. Use the bible whenever possible. When you can’t, find mentors and online aids who rely on the bible as much as possible.

A relationship with Christ is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. I’ve made mistakes, but it’s God’s grace that makes me do much more excited to have a God as amazing as ours.

Hey guys, if you actually made it this far you are awesome and I really appreciate you taking your time for me. Im new to site making, so if you have any suggestions on future articles or just anything at all don’t hesitate to contact me at travis.frey89@yahoo.com

Twidiots

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So Twitter has been steadily growing more and more popular over the years, and I’ve had one for years, but recently I, like millions of others, have joined the tweetdom. I’ve been looking at Twitter from an unbiased standpoint, and this is my findings:

Who: Tools and followers of Tools

What:  Everything from daily witty musings by Steve martin(@stevemartintogo), Tyler Tarver(@tylertarver), Jim Gaffigan(@JimGaffigan) And Conan O’Brien(@conanOBrien) to crazy outbursts from people like Rainn Wilson(@rainnwilson).  I also get a chuckle out of the horrendous grammar of Martha Stewart(@marthastewart)

When: About 2-4 years ago.  its becoming more and more popular as the days go on.

Where: Wherever you are viewing this, you can view Twitter

Why: My suspicion is to try and get into the heards of the hollywood hitters, to pretend like you have a connection with people that are larger than life. 

I am @travis_frey  so please follow me and I’ll follow you!

I’m leaving you with a final question:

Who do you follow?